Inspired by a friends blog, it got me thinking about Lily. About what an easy time we had getting pregnant, and besides being so ridiculously sick for most of my pregnancy, how easy of a time we had with it. I always had thought to myself that if I couldn't have a baby it was meant to be that way. But now, after reading her entry I find myself wondering what we would have done in their shoes? Would we have given up? I mean, knowing what I know now about how wonderful Lily is and how amazing it is to be a mom I'm pretty certain my answer would be we'd go through the same. But had you asked me that 2 years ago when we started trying for a baby, I'm not so sure.
I found myself crying at her thread. Really feeling for them and while I can only imagine a fraction of what they went through, I am so thankful everyday for the easy time we had with Lily. And how lucky we are that things worked out the way they did for us.
Lately I've been feeling a little lost in life. I actually said to Adam last night that the only two things I feel secure and good about right now are him and Lily. There is no question in my mind that I love Adam. Despite many jokes, we are truly partners. We love each other even when we hate each other. And of course Lily. My amazingly smart (not so) baby girl. She brightens my day, everyday with her smile and her wacky sense of humor. Her love of books and learning new things.
But everywhere else, I'm just lost. I feel lost at work. I like my co-workers, the flexibility I have here and of course the pay. But I hate that I have nothing to do. I hate that the days drag on and mostly I hate that I'm so bored that all I want to do is eat, which is not helping me at all on my quest to be healthy and make better choices. I need to change. But can't afford to do so.
But today, on this Friday before a nice long weekend, I think I'll just be thankful that we have been so lucky. So fortunate to not have to struggle. So blessed to have an amazing little girl with minimal effort.
Thank you Sarah for putting that into perspective for me.